The Southside Whisky Club  

  << Choose whose rankings you want to see   |   scores are out of 10:

Jamie has attended 44 of 100 meetings.
They've reviewed 138 whiskies, giving an average rating of 6.8 out of 10.
Tasting whiskies from 20 regions, most (34) have come from Speyside.
The average whisky they've tasted is 50.6%.

 
 
9.0

Upon savouring, it’s a wet monkey rolling around in treacle and elderflower winning a watch in a raffle and wait, what’s this? yep, it’s political uncertainty and pineapple – who’d have thunk it?
8.6

Yeah it's woody, it's the painful nectar of the gods, it's glacier mints, black jacks, fig rolls, and crunchie bars.
8.5

The outdoor picnic continues – not sure if there is enough food to go round but glad everyone remembered to bring their herbs and seasoning: plenty of black pepper, rosemary, thyme and fresh peppermint.
8.5

We're saying medium, but on the short side like Steffi Graf serving on a 15 mile tennis court. It's spicy or maybe popping candy as it dissipates, the sweetness of marshmallows sneaking in towards the end.
8.5

8.5

8.5

8.5

Something really interesting going on here - a mad mix of spices and old wood. Oniony. Lychees. Something a bit chinese going on. Tom yum soup.
8.5

Apple strudel. Superglue. Molten syrup. Ail varnish remover, games workshop's own-branded superglue
8.5

Coriander and over cooked cabbage mingle with a definite ‘Iron’ smell of blood – raw black pudding to be exact. Perhaps a wee bit feisty like Atomic fire balls or even ‘Hepatitis E’.
8.5

It's definitely rubbery but also really sweet (brown sugar), creamy (cream soda, butter) and peppery (er.. pepper). "What do cymbals smell like?" ("cymbolic?" - it's no longer clear how well this joke went down..). In fact, it smells of cymbal cleaner - the drummers in the a...
8.3

8.3

The nosings spread out a little bit into a plethora of nature's best offerings: plants and herbs (oniony fennel, coriander leaves, licorice and coffee), more tangy offerings (orange zest, aniseed, paprika and pepper) and some nice locations (a pebble beach with a fire, The W...
8.3

A Hungarian walks out of a smokey yurt having eaten a goulash (peppery and paprika), through the mossy earth and plunges into a dodgy lagoon full of snakes and crabs
8.3

The bottle seemed to be reviewed as enthusiastically as the whisky: OMG, #fail, aggressively sexual, I like it, it looks like a buttplug, looks like champagne or overpriced vodka, I do like the text.
8.2

It's the snack counter at York's famous cinema conversion project - as we pass the fire-hardened 13th century oak door we move on to the mixture of sweet and salty popcorn.
8.2

8.0

It was still aligned with normality when strawberry Starburst and buttery were observed (or obnosed), but then we got a bit abstract: an isolated pond, 'quite sorry like campers' (?), a man peeing on a night out ("Sheila 2014") and deep-fried pig rectum (!)..
8.0

This has a powerful, aromatic capriciousness (best taken orally) but still has a whiff of an unfinished PowerPoint, which Ali was convinced had something to do with The Pelican Brief and the taste of his school pal Nick Marsh.
8.0

It’s foosty, like an old Scout Patrol tent or a wool tie from a charity shop. There are also notes of syrup, burnt jam and perhaps a meaty flavour? It’s going to be 'ham-azing' to taste..!
8.0

It was so farmy, that we wrote down 'FARMY!!!' to make the point unforgettable. Damp hay and silage emphasised the point, and 'slaaaaag' was mentioned, said like a lady who partakes in many men, but perhaps referencing a pile of quarry soilings?
8.0

The flames have died down, now it's like chocolate. It's got a creamy yeah (a creamy yeah), yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Are you recording this? If it smells like velvet, it tastes like corduroy. I really wish I had a cigar right now.
8.0

Things get pretty savoury - toast with English mustard, watercress, paprika, raw onion and crisp-baked tatties. The leather on the nose expands into fusty linen, rubber and cowboy boots.
8.0

8.0

8.0

On the way, a whale has carelessly left its blubber to filter up the nose, perhaps helping to fertilise the landscape, as first nettles and then geraniums flourish.
8.0

8.0

I don't know what 'distilled grass' is, but if it were a real thing, it would smell like this - but also haggis.
8.0

8.0

8.0

Various kinds of confectionary are vying for our attention here - of the sucky sweet variety (cola cubes, barley sugars), more fruit-based efforts (fruit salads, tangfastics) and finally dark chocolate.
8.0

If i were going to stick any firework up my arse, it would be a roman candle - so it looks like you're pooping fire
8.0

First sip makes a big impression; this isn't just smoky, it's a forest in flames, a peaty explosion. Sugar and salt tickle the palate in delicious combinations, smoky bacon with maple syrup, toffee apples, honey-roasted nuts and sweet and sour pork.
8.0

Someone’s on the Grapa instead (there’s always one) - bet you it’s the one smelling the 15-19 year old girls perfume and exclaiming ‘You've got nice cornicing’..... hello!
8.0

Some fondly remembered encounters of uncloven animals chewing on some grass. For others, it is trip to France for some Tarte Tatin covered in custard.
7.9

7.9

7.9

Pop round to Bill Tong's house for a biscuit (he lives in Pleasantsville) and he'll no doubt give you a peak into his musty old wardrobe. If you ask nicely, he'll even show you his peppery cucumber - a true delight!
7.8

Much like the nose we have a continued deep, rich sweetness, with milk chocolate, and toffee apples. In fact it's like “skiing into a giant chocolate caramel but then there's a hole in the chocolate like your exact shape – then there's an instant move into toffee”.
7.8

We’re down on the farm and we are smoking everything from cheese and tofu, to pigs ears and sausage. And not just any farm, it’s a kinky farm with the condoms stacked up on the fetish tractor.
7.8

Intensity-wise, it's a spirited kick up the goolies and a spicy punch in the nose (schnozbob) - a double-dose of white wine and then a sprinkle of garlic.
7.8

7.8

Oranges, orange rind, pith..."What a pithy comment" - Phil (no one laughs). "Says a guy who chases his whisky with milk" - Christina (people laugh). "Another pithy comment!" - Ali L (reaction unrecorded).
7.7

From the sawmills to the farmyard, with undertones of burning turf and old leather, it’s stylishly unrefined. And for those dessert enthusiasts, there’s even a dollop of molasses in there to sweeten the deal.
7.6

Most people felt this had a medium finish (20 yards out?), which kinda means a short finish as no one ever says short, except the people who said short and one who sat on the fence so much we creosoted her, saying 'short-to-medium-to-long'. One wag (in the droll, not doll, s...
7.6

Islay isn't particularly famous for its cake, but that might be as they've put all their useful ingredients into the nose of this peaty offering: cinnamon, prunes, lots of marzipan, almonds, vanilla, apples and Christmas itself.
7.6

7.5

Some unusual nosing techniques attempted here (giving the unusual category of 'taste on the eye', conclusion: sting-y), and someone said "the biggest fucking joke in the whisky club", we're virtually "100% farm" sure this wasn't meant negatively towards the nose, but who kno...
7.5

There’s something else going on too, it’s kind of dry and tangy, like ironmongery perhaps? Or flat Tennents and skunk? Sounds like a dangerous combo…
7.5

Gob-stopping sweetness; Cherry Coke, cream soda and apricot jam but with the sour ending of the last sugary key lurking at the bottom of a packet of Tangfastics.
7.5

If there was ever a whisky whose nose was no indication of what was to come in the palate, then here it is. It's like a nasal ninja, popping up your nose and lieing to your face.
7.5

There are memories of the Jorvik Museum, nasty sea water, damp swamps, a used griddle and dunking your head in the river – we all hold those dear.
7.5

Quite a pungent nose, and almost disconcerting. Lemon, apricot and (baked) apple make up the fruity contigent as heather grows on the sidelines, plotting. Lots of talks about Clan Chiefs and the history of Scotland, for some reason.
7.5

As these balance the Lion roars and there's an explosion of spice with paprika, chili and pepper combining with the cream to hint at horseradish. As everything dies down we're left statuesque with a sharp tang of orange peel and rocket as the battle continues.
7.5

7.5

Zimbabwean mint & lamb crisps take us in an unusual direction before we're redirected to herbs and freshly cut grass. Roast pork and yoghurt sounds like a tasty dish, but it's all washed down with evil gingerbread!
7.5

7.5

7.5

The database doesn't like umlauts :(
7.5

Then chili, cloves and lots of wasabi hit with some salt (from the South China Sea as well as good ol' rocks) and salted whale blubber (for research purposes only) as well as the feeling of internal public space.
7.5

Everything from Chewy from Star Wars to chromotography. From a powdery taste to melted cling film. From the fear of popping candy to other worldly.
7.5

You're having a porky barbecue with ribs, except that guy you didn't want to come came and the pork he brought was oldand he got some cheesy maple syrup from Pizza One Pancake Too in Norwich and insisted that everyone try his candied Kerosene and medicine-flavoured ice-cream...
7.4

A really intriguing taste with exotic origins: onion bhajis with yoghurt dip, lemon rind, Eat Me dates (the hottest kind..?), cardamom, cheesy curry. Then things got a bit sweeter to nicely balance the exotica - pineapple juice (and Hamish's terrible joke...now forgotten), p...
7.4

7.3

To round off the evening a leisurely smoke with pipes packed with dark shag tobacco. It’s the smell of a well-stocked pantry, where hungry midnight explorers stumble across left-over pizza.
7.3

Definitely the first whisky that has ever smelled of What I go to School For by Busted.
7.2

A used rubber (not that type) and the smell of tea tree oil moves things into confusing directions and it's difficult to know which path to take back, but whichever path you take, it'll no doubt be lined with sangria, salt, orange and grapefruit.
7.2

Six billion. The population of the world if you perform a 'Chinese takeaway', that is for some inexplicable reason don't count the population of China. And round up. It tastes of Chinese takeaway, is what I'm trying to say.
7.1

On the finish - a resonance of smoke rings (stolen from another) and a coal shuttle but also a contrasting freshness of fir, caraway, heather and mint. The taste lingers but not as much as you might expect.
7.0

The aromas wafted to the cafe next door where weekend brunchers were deciding on raspberry jam, burnt orange marmalade or honey (specifically Futurama space bee honey) to drizzle on their hot crumpets
7.0

Pepper spray and chilis start the emergency, with burnt sugared-apple and burnt birch bark hampering the rescue efforts - once inside, the air is still tingly and a smell of vinegar lingers.
7.0

But, oh no! What's this? It's only Inappropriate Culturally-mis-matching Pudding Man! "I see you're enjoying a nice Japanese bath! Here, have some crčme caramel and Christmas pudding, you idiot!". He then faded into the steamy evening, with only the slowly receding clip-clop...
7.0

That mintiness starts going menthol as piney flavours announce their arrival ("Hullo!") with aniseed balls presenting themselves as the pretentious synergy between palate and finish and eventually going home with no friends.
7.0

7.0

7.0

7.0

7.0

7.0

The air infiltrated with sea spray and smoke, possibly a bit more pungent like the smoke from a cigarette bin fire. Fresh in the form of fuchsias, strawberries, cluster cherries, borderline mushy green grapes but also punchy and spirity like solvent and new make.
6.9

In a sort of mad festive disaster, the Christmas pudding meets glue and hot tyres on a Formula 1 track, whilst the Quality Street get covered in coffee cream and lavender.
6.8

Back on the snacks as we gorge ourselves on peanuts and popcorn all the way to the bottom of the bag as we get the unpopped corn stuck in our teeth.
6.8

Things get more exciting as our tongues prickle with paprika and popping candy as, the sweetness over, lime pickle squeezes the mouth and English mustard washes like rainwater over this slightly salty ending.
6.7

It was deemed a morning whisky, or breakfast dram, with many attendant caveats. And finally, the sense of something intangible, call it "rhrhyrhtrtgrtg", if you will.
6.6

6.5

Yikes, well now the party's started - it's a full-mooner, and there's a raging inferno of wasp stings, curry leaves, beef sherbet, Kendal mint cake and jalapeno peppers (stuffed with cheese for good measure) . And just in case you weren't convinced of its strength, someone i...
6.5

Hmm, this is a young whisky, but does that explain the whiff of teenage boys’ aftershave? Oh no, I see, it’s just Chad Kroeger, munching on a mars bar.
6.5

6.5

There's more bite on the mouth than on the nose, with sea salt, peat, kippers and a medicinal impact all featuring. There are still fruity vibes though, mainly lime, strawberry and vanilla and a sweetness comes through with syrup and thoughts of a heather meadow.
6.5

It depends on how you like your sailors but this one had been out at sea for at least 40 days and was starting to absorb the aromas of the remaining fermenting bananas and gooseberries.
6.5

You'd think any tasting review that starts with "like lava at Mount Fugu!" would be firmly put in its place for terrible cultural mismatching, but I'm pretty sure this 'error' was intended - it was hot, fiery and there was a small chance of a poisonous death, but if you trea...
6.4

What? You’re back with that leather satchel? It’s Saturday night and the school discos in full swing (a lingering sense of cheesy 70s DJs).
6.3

Imagine you've successfully crossed a bee with a dragon and this creature produces large quantities of honey and also breathes fire. Any given day you have a 50:50 probability of being burnt or grabbing some of the honey he's produced.
6.3

Give it a little while, and you’ll start to discern something approximating the smoky flavours of your usual Lagavulin - barbequed pork-steak and Frazzles bacon-flavoured crisps. Smooth it might be, but balanced to the point of obscurity.
6.2

There is a whiff of recently prepared surgical tools but also a floral fruitiness with pineapple, apple (granny Smith to be precise!), cherry pie, lemon (rudely shouted at that) and bluebells feed to a halibut?!
6.2

6.2

It's like waking up to some horrific morning after a party - a salty Ginster's pasty, charcoal, post vomit mouthwash, Andrew's salts, flat coke and something undefinable mushy and unpleasant.
6.0

After a few more sniffs it appeared to conjure deeper, more sentimental, notes of girl’s plastic toys (‘My little Pony’ to be exact), old lady perfume (controversially 43+ years), the Chinese fan on Shelley’s wall, Windolene and for those amongst us who obviously had a more...
6.0

In general “fruity as shit”! There is also some grassy, fresh sweetness – like the juice from a fruit salad...or perhaps “an acidic power that you might find in a lab and not sure if you should lick it”.
6.0

There were lots of floral things being brought up, but the tone wasn't that glowing: outdoors but indoors (like a greenhouse), a bad flower, parma violets - parma violence -, tomato pheromones, and those small white flowers in a flower arrangement.
6.0

There’s also a subtle earthiness with moss, hay and apple wood (the wood not the cheese)…not sure if I should mention “the blood soaked teddy on a damp fire place”...maybe he meant iron and damp earth?
6.0

More unusually, we finally picked up hints of the aftertase of a polystyrene cup you've had soup in and when you chew a pencil and get through to the lead..
6.0

Things get somewhat more challenging (and non-existent) with peanut brittle popping up without the peanuts (The Ghost of Peanut's Past), hanging out inadvisedly with *something witty*, a man who's so up his own arse that he has asterisks in his name.
6.0

That creaminess gives way to a wee spiciness expressed by chili, chili jam and cloves whilst a fruity stalker creeps in butt-naked, coated in elderflower cordial, raisins and grapes (to hide any embarrassment).
6.0

With the first taste the sea rushes up and smacks you in the palate, bam! The salty taste is like a cheeky lick of a dolphin or a freshly landed Arbroath Smokie.
6.0

6.0

6.0

We taste old-school sweets and, displaying scant regard for the actual process involved, honey 'direct from a bee's bum'.
6.0

Everything from raisin sawdust to Burgundy-coloured tapestries, with a stopover at to see Bruce Springsteen and the original German Werther's factory.
6.0

You've been sent to a hospital by the sea with the unfortunate condition of having caramelised your bananas. After the decent run of medical science, it transpired in the late 2020s that actually herbal medicine and alternative therapies were correct, and they swiftly replac...
6.0

We seemed to agree on a hot / sweet flavours here – honey petals (?), spicy cayenne, raisins & bananas, breakfast Weetabix, tart tatin, and deception.
6.0

I have a soft spot for dark wood.
6.0

"It's unclear whether the latter was simply a reference to the length of nail that the pneumatic drilling would be sensibly combined with, or a clever twist on the the band 9 Inch Nails, and this was in fact suggesting this whisky was like pneumatic drilling on a stage for w...
5.9

Icelandic wood then shifts us towards white wine vinegar and cloves, with basil sitting out there on its herby lonesome (who incidentally sounds like a 50s blues singer)
5.7

5.6

5.5

Honey and a damp forest make it more esoteric, whilst 'simple' sums it up nicely in one word. Little encouraged us to give a finish, but we all agreed that 'an impressively bouncy cork' was a good enough summary.
5.5

Like a giant cupcake decoration thrown together by your boozy gran, there was a smorgasboard of sweet things on the nose. We found pink marshmallows smothered in treacle next to chunks of pineapple coated in marzipan!
5.5

5.5

If there's any fish that can be subtle, then surely it's the lowly anchovy? Imagine that poor fella swimming around unnoticed and you've got the finish down to a T.
5.5

Christmas pudding seemed to feature for more than one person, but its rich depth only truly came out with a few warm up drams - but had the ability to beat its way to first place.
5.5

Burnt Moss (Stirling's son, conceived after a very sexy race at the Nürburgring, very different to Colin McRae's win at the Nuremberg Rally
5.5

McNulty from The Wire's guilt and the salt of the sweat of the Taoiseach before a general election. And finishing the whole thing of are perhaps the less-desirable flavours of melted plastic, yellow snow and oil.
5.5

In some kind of mad banana-fuelled rage, he storms out the room, picks up his damp laundry and coffee cake and runs off into the chorizo horizon.
5.5

The positive was almond flour. The rest was diluted whisky, clean, empty, acid reflux and a burst balloon. The finish was minus two.
5.3

There appear to have been a couple of camps (not glamps) here, with some getting an intense, dry, woody vibe and some a fruity sweetness - weird.
5.0

The French have burnt their toast in here with sweet maple syrup, cherry tunes, Werther's Originals, cola cubes and evaporated lime cordial thrown in to hide the taste.
5.0

Banana foams give us a link from fruit to toffee, with coconut and tree sap watching from the sidelines. Flying saucers too (presumably the sweets?), but also a touch of bleach and Glacier Mints - a mixed bag!
5.0

The length seems somewhat hard to pin down, somewhere between being inside the 6-yard box to lost in the opposition half - most agree it's medium. The aftertaste brings a fair bit of salt, with much more fruit than before: melon, sour apples, lemon and aniseed.
5.0

We seem to have got pretty brand-focused smelling this, think we sent our corporate wing over by mistake: good varnish (like Ronseal), polycement, dried coriander, rubbish Turps, metal, Toffiffees, Chewits, OWLS, Playdough.
5.0

Quite light... "it's not an unpleasant thing to put in your mouth though, right?". [bagpipes are drowning us out...] Phil describes bagpipes as "an audible version of a headache". Ooga booga booga!
4.5

More creaminess. Shortbread. Oh yes, a classic HP. Subtle background of fruit. Exotic fruits! MANGO! PASSIONFRUIT! A bit sickly. Agree with passion fruit but killed by cream.
3.0

Japanese crabs, tumbledriers and 'accidentally snorting orange juice' provided a summary that's pretty darn hard to interpret. Add to that acetone, eucalyptus and oesophageal burn and you're getting a gnat's breath closer to perception, but sherry came through at the end to ...
3.0

3.0

There's now a herby, bitter sourness and Aquavit is the new alcohol metaphor, with toothpaste and dentist's mouthwash taking on the clinical mantle.
3.0

"Smells radge" and "holy fuckballs!" sum up the general feeling towards the smell, although there was some variation, with one saying it smelled boring, hard to place, generic and not very good and another saying it was the best nose of any whisky they'd experienced
3.0

In a mad combo of food, emotions, sacrificial techniques and poor fire control, it was also described as: smoked cheese, emptiness, immolation, oversmoked and citrus toast.
2.5

2.5