First sip makes a big impression; this isn't just smoky, it's a forest in flames, a peaty explosion. Sugar and salt tickle the palate in delicious combinations, smoky bacon with maple syrup, toffee apples, honey-roasted nuts and sweet and sour pork.

This has a powerful, aromatic capriciousness (best taken orally) but still has a whiff of an unfinished PowerPoint, which Ali was convinced had something to do with The Pelican Brief and the taste of his school pal Nick Marsh.

This was tasted with 4 other Invergordons and the nose was so rich in comparison, with really strong clotted cream fudge with perhaps a strawberry flavour, but heavy with dried fruits. Often the aromas dissipate as you withdraw from the glass, but this one took on a slightl...

It's pretty burny at first whiff, which gradually moves towards kerosene, a lit fire and then just-picked spearmint. Quite spiced, with oranges and icing sugar. Definitely creamy over time, complemented by rosemary and a woody leafiness and strangely enough, swimming pools....

It was very medicinal (but unlike usual Islay medicine, more like homeopathic 'medicine' - ARGHH). Don't read too much into that, it smelled amazing - but a bit less 'classic Kilchoman' than the 129.1.

It was still aligned with normality when strawberry Starburst and buttery were observed (or obnosed), but then we got a bit abstract: an isolated pond, 'quite sorry like campers' (?), a man peeing on a night out ("Sheila 2014") and deep-fried pig rectum (!)..

Pop round to Bill Tong's house for a biscuit (he lives in Pleasantsville) and he'll no doubt give you a peak into his musty old wardrobe. If you ask nicely, he'll even show you his peppery cucumber - a true delight!

Someone’s on the Grapa instead (there’s always one) - bet you it’s the one smelling the 15-19 year old girls perfume and exclaiming ‘You've got nice cornicing’..... hello!

Smells of mint humbugs, honey, the top of a crème brûlée, dried toothpaste, candyfloss, chestnuts, grapefruit (not in a sour way), sweet cream, savouriness. Tastes of fennel, spiced orange in a jar, sweet bourbon, dentist's mouthwash, sweet & sour, curry.

Those savoury thoughts expand out to mid-Century Scandinavian rosewood unpolished furniture, the feeling of a recently blown out match on the tongue and an olive oily texture (no, we weren't drunk, promise.).

A very chemical fruitiness on the nose, and I didn't say any more than that at the time, so neither will I now. An intense fruity explosion in the mouth, almost like a fruity grain whisky, finally becoming strawberry cream hard sweets. Pear XXX on the finish (I presume I me...

Complex - Slight spice, slight smoke, slight citrus. Boiled fruit sweets.

Compared to the CD Strathclyde 33yo this was tasted alongide, this was much creamier on the nose, with more toffee (toffee apple) and a fresh lemony thing going on too. It smelled quite similar to the...

The flames have died down, now it's like chocolate. It's got a creamy yeah (a creamy yeah), yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Are you recording this? If it smells like velvet, it tastes like corduroy. I really wish I had a cigar right now.

Zimbabwean mint & lamb crisps take us in an unusual direction before we're redirected to herbs and freshly cut grass. Roast pork and yoghurt sounds like a tasty dish, but it's all washed down with evil gingerbread!

The smell initially had a slight burn to it and a faintness. But over time, that faintness was replaced (literally, I crossed out the word) with a classic Lowland freshness (described by my tasting partner as 'sunlight') and some things from more exotic climes: Chinese must...

Stick your nose near this and you immediately smell cherries and cherry lips, maybe hints of toffee too? Really woody also, and over time it becomes unmistakenly peaty but it takes more time than you'd expect, especially considering how much it shines through eventually. It...

'Touch Tackie!' - If I recall correctly, it was the hazy summer of 1996 when Brandy released her worldwide smash, Toffifee & Milo. Well, actually it wasn't, was it? But we did indeed get 'brandy' with those two.

If i were going to stick any firework up my arse, it would be a roman candle - so it looks like you're pooping fire

It's the snack counter at York's famous cinema conversion project - as we pass the fire-hardened 13th century oak door we move on to the mixture of sweet and salty popcorn.

Big alcoholic vapours poured out of this, with fruit on the side. Literally had to smell it with my nose sideways next to the glass, to avoid the sting-y stream of alco-vapour! Slightly young smelling. Initially I thought this tasted like a Highland Park, but gradually lost...

The amazing colour of this is matched by a massive nose, coca cola, toffee and hot crème brûlée drifting in, then easing off a bit towards strawberry candy. Without water, it's just as intense in the mouth: BANG! - raw, tingly, crisp and creamy. The toffee features again, a...

Fruity and dry when you bring it close, with mint (toothpaste) pervading from nose-to-mouth, whilst a savoury feeling drops off. Once in the mouth, it gives an initial sour kick - somewhat tingly - with an underlying tempered sweetness. There are nice smells of a full, if s...

A really intriguing taste with exotic origins: onion bhajis with yoghurt dip, lemon rind, Eat Me dates (the hottest kind..?), cardamom, cheesy curry. Then things got a bit sweeter to nicely balance the exotica - pineapple juice (and Hamish's terrible joke...now forgotten), p...

This does justice to soothing the remnants of last night’s spontaneous soiree. An interesting mix of cider, sherry and apple sourz chasers served with green olives.

There's quite a lot of soft, creamy flavours here - banana & peach crumble, soft fruits and the moment just as a marshmallow starts to burn on a bonfire all impact on the nose, with less of a fieriness than many grain whiskies. When you pop it into your mouth, you get a sli...

With Russell's declaration that he went to an amateur wrestling match ringing in our ears, we cracked on with the smells. The result reads like a shopping list for the dessert menu of an ailing restaurant, whose chef is unable to see the difference between wackiness for its ...

Gob-stopping sweetness; Cherry Coke, cream soda and apricot jam but with the sour ending of the last sugary key lurking at the bottom of a packet of Tangfastics.

Then chili, cloves and lots of wasabi hit with some salt (from the South China Sea as well as good ol' rocks) and salted whale blubber (for research purposes only) as well as the feeling of internal public space.

In a sort of mad festive disaster, the Christmas pudding meets glue and hot tyres on a Formula 1 track, whilst the Quality Street get covered in coffee cream and lavender.

The first thing I got on the nose was spiced fruit, then a fresh Lowlandy vibe came through, but wasn't the dominant factor. Sherbet dippers (sherbet and liquorice too) and a slightly creamy thing going on (more creamy than its tasting buddy, the

It took a whole load of time to get a reasonable selection of nosings for this one, it didn't give up its secrets easily. Toffee was the most recognisable flavour, then came peanuts and raisings. It was tangier than the Littl...

Give it a little while, and you’ll start to discern something approximating the smoky flavours of your usual Lagavulin - barbequed pork-steak and Frazzles bacon-flavoured crisps. Smooth it might be, but balanced to the point of obscurity.

Apple strudel. Superglue. Molten syrup. Ail varnish remover, games workshop's own-branded superglue

It really smelled of pizza!, morphing into a fruity, white wine. It was a bit of a hodge-podge of smells: Silage and cut grass seem a suitable match, but it was also a bit sweaty and somehow reminiscent of lavendar at the same time. There was also a background sweetness, be...

Salty, fruity (aprictos nad peaches), and definitely minty on the nose. Some of those smells come through in the taste too: salty, fruity and mellow. Fatty, sweet with subtle medicine. A little new-makey, tangy and sour. Quite hard to pin down. The finish was weak, or mediu...

A pretty rich nose, which initially gave off spiced apple crumble, takeaway curry and fermented dark cherries. Toffee and popcorn gave a butteriness and sweetness, with only marker pens and mackerel (I think so, anyway!) offering resistance. Rich and sherried in the mouth, ...

Fresh and fruity on the nose, with a sweetness (pear drops, apple Toffo bars?) and a slight hint of mint. The taste was like a subdued, bitter version of the nose: toothpaste on a nettle, appples, sweet yet also not sweet at all ("strange", I noted). There's also a slight c...

From nose to mouth, this is a kind of surf ‘n’ turf – some initial seaside aromas (old seaweed, scallops) followed by a kind of sweet & sour pork thing in the mouth. There’s a consistent sweetness before the finish, starting off as fudgey and sherbet dib dabs with the dib d...

It smelt pretty good: fruity, with candied nuts and dried curry powder. Lemon drizzle cake and Victoria sponge. Also, I couldn't help feel it was a little sweaty. It's so sweet on the taste, with a lemony fizz, morphing into champagne by way of citrus and lime oil. A long f...

Boil the billy furra cuppa mayt! AWWWW MAYT! 'Bonza (itsa billy-o-cawfee mayt!)'. Eeevry bugger’s beltin' “Bonza “itsa “bonza 'itsa billy-o-cawfee mayt!'? Cawfee up the wazoo mayt!

Began smelling of apples, stale cheese and deep toffee. Rhubarb & Custard sweets gave way to something pretty sherry-like/ It changed quite a lot on the taste: sour, salty and a little fruity (lime), with crabs and steamed pak choi mixing things up a bit. Slightly minty tof...

Pop this under yo schnozzer and it's immediately festival time, one where you hang around by the sea, breathe in the coastal air, have a BBQ with some seagulls and get beaten to death by a peat fire!

If there was ever a whisky whose nose was no indication of what was to come in the palate, then here it is. It's like a nasal ninja, popping up your nose and lieing to your face.

Kid's sweets on the nose! Candy fruits, fruit pastilles, strawberry laces and it's creamy like milk bottle sweets. So many sweeties! Just moving things forward a few years, but not too many, alco-pops come into play. Much more watery in taste, and slightly spicy/acidic (swe...

The tastes on the finish mostly strayed towards the savoury end of the palate, with mild chili pepper, cinnamon, taco spice, salted peanuts and sun-dried tomatoes. Sherbert and melon came along to the party in the mouth, but no one could remember if they were invited - they ...

Most people felt this had a medium finish (20 yards out?), which kinda means a short finish as no one ever says short, except the people who said short and one who sat on the fence so much we creosoted her, saying 'short-to-medium-to-long'. One wag (in the droll, not doll, s...

Cherryish and raisiny - strangely our convictions seem to be deserting us as we consume more alcohol, the opposite of normal. Talking of 'deserting', we also got bread and butter pudding..

A Cognac that goes from being "reet fruity" all the way to "Fuck me, that's grapey".

As the once majestic engine chugs into the station, it begins to reveal its cargo of the world’s exotica: Macadamia nuts, sultanas, fermenting papaya (it was a long journey), under-ripe mashed banana (or not long enough, but bumpy – no Pendolinos here), pickled lemons (final...

On the nose, there's clear mint and minty garden herbs, lemon toothpaste, nail varnish remover, haystacks and ham. It's a bit gentler and light on the palate, a tiny amount of acid and slight lemon, nice and creamy also ("Thanks, Creamy!). Somewhat watery, with cress, tobac...

Oranges, orange rind, pith..."What a pithy comment" - Phil (no one laughs). "Says a guy who chases his whisky with milk" - Christina (people laugh). "Another pithy comment!" - Ali L (reaction unrecorded).

This went both ways for people: some hated it, some liked it a lot and some thought it was cracking fun. It tasted like everything on a farmyard blended together, some moist sawdust and cherried bog water. And when 'cherried bog water' is the most encouraging taste, you know...

There’s also a subtle earthiness with moss, hay and apple wood (the wood not the cheese)…not sure if I should mention “the blood soaked teddy on a damp fire place”...maybe he meant iron and damp earth?

There is a whiff of recently prepared surgical tools but also a floral fruitiness with pineapple, apple (granny Smith to be precise!), cherry pie, lemon (rudely shouted at that) and bluebells feed to a halibut?!

It's like waking up to some horrific morning after a party - a salty Ginster's pasty, charcoal, post vomit mouthwash, Andrew's salts, flat coke and something undefinable mushy and unpleasant.

Quite light... "it's not an unpleasant thing to put in your mouth though, right?". [bagpipes are drowning us out...] Phil describes bagpipes as "an audible version of a headache". Ooga booga booga!

Watch me drizzle honey all over my lemon, as I slowly unpeel my banana and undress this orange with my teeth. Take a freshly fucked pineapple and cocoNuts and voila – it’s a Penis Colada.

This had Finn Russell on the finish, which was perhaps it's most interesting feature?

There were lots of floral things being brought up, but the tone wasn't that glowing: outdoors but indoors (like a greenhouse), a bad flower, parma violets - parma violence -, tomato pheromones, and those small white flowers in a flower arrangement.

Cherry lip death and very drunken bananas. Like all the condiments I like: Worcester sauce, Tabasco, ketchup, brown sauce and vinegar. And rinds of various kinds.

Honey and a damp forest make it more esoteric, whilst 'simple' sums it up nicely in one word. Little encouraged us to give a finish, but we all agreed that 'an impressively bouncy cork' was a good enough summary.

Smells of dried apple, soy sauce, a cheap Nepalese restaurant, petrol, banana chips, strawberry milkshake and is generally sweet and creamy. Tastes sour and raw, and of creamy fruit (masked by harshness), chili toffee, off-lemon and natural liquorice. It leaves your mouth d...